Adult Jokes

Lots of Funny Adult Jokes

Lots of adult jokes for you to peruse

Little Red Riding Hood Little Red Riding Hood was getting ready to go and visit her grandmother in the forest Virgin Bride A woman, getting married for the fourth time, goes to a bridal shop and asks for a white Teacher Plays Animal Game One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe Pete and Dave Pete walks into a bar and sees Dave sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great Circus Animal Trainer Act Last time the circus came to town, an ad for an animal trainer was placed in the local Carlos calls his boss Carlos calls his boss in the morning: "Ey, boss I no come work today I really Police officers George and Mary Police officers George and Mary and their police dog had been assigned to walk a beat. Older lady and an Older gentleman A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman Spot The Dog A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman Going to a Halloween party A couple are going to a Halloween party and the girls comes down the stairs wearing A girl about to tie the knot A girl is about to tie the knot, and she is watching her mother bake biscuits in the Once upon a time in China Once upon a time in China, lived two Chinamen. One named I Cum and one named No cum. No A man walks into a bar A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. After drinking it, he looks in his shirt Little Johnny in class Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher Two old men in a bar Two old men were sitting in a bar, discussing their wives. The first said, Lulu was a prostitute Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the A game at bedtime An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the A teacher in class A teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Andy, the 2 old-maid sisters There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins. It's Friday night and Gladys looks at A kid comes home from school A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem." Climbing the ladder of success Joe was walking along the road when he found a ladder leading into the clouds. In mourning Karen lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn?t gotten out of her Gynaecological joke A gorgeous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at her and all his If you think your life is bad ........ if u think life is bad, imagine being an egg, u only get laid once, u only get smashed Dear doctor Dear Doctor, I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons Buy the lady a drink A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a Bar in Dublin. She No 69 A man goes to a disco and starts chatting up a very attractive looking Chinese girl. Nudist colony An elderley` man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes Wife goes to school A woman enroled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject Definitely One day the teacher wanted the class to use the word definitely in a sentence. Suzy Oooops!!! A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and say How to wave a towel A farmer married an attractive woman half his age. After several months on the farm, she Life support drama Doris has been on a life support machine for nearly a year now and Bob, her husband, has A gay man ... A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went Ventriloquist A ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a small outback village and sees a local Two builders Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a Condom factory vacancy A fella goes for a job in the Quality Assurance department at Durex. The foreman takes Dirty I.Q. Test Check your Dirty IQ! Questions: 1. When I go in I might cause Prostitute what do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?

Women why do women have legs?? have ya seen Fix the outhouse! Aggie was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out. "Clar! You need to go out Carmen A man was sitting at the bar when he was approached by a beautiful young woman. He A woman's prayer My vibrator, which brings me heaven, Rabbit be thy name. Till kingdom come, Penis poem My nookie days are ova, my pilot lite is out. wot used to be my sex appeal is now my Dwarf what does a dwarf get if he runs thru a womens legs? a clit around the ear and a Granny and Grandad Granny and Grandad are sitting at the breakfast table. Granny says, 'Do you know that my Blonde a blonde and a brunnetee decide to rob a bank the brunnette explained whta the blonde is Does your twat twitch a recent study asked a group of women if their twat twitched after sex,98% said no he Does your twat twitch A recent study asked a group of women if their twat twitched after sex. 98% said no he Blow up doll i went to blackpool to buy a blow up doll with blond hair and big fanny when i got it Chapter 12 (lets do it) a preist was driving in his car when he saw a nun getting rejected by a taxi. He pulls Strolling on the beach A man was walking along the beach when he sees a blonde woman up ahead. Feeling horny he Sex Club A man has'nt had sex for years and he's fustrated so he tells his mate he has'nt had sex Circumcised Man Goes To ASDA A circumcised man goes into asda. and puts his penis on the convyer belt and says 'try Man goes to Marks & Spencers Man goes to Marks & Spencers to buy her wife a maternity bra.... Shop assistant ask`s The doctor and the woman A doctor was sick today and decided to take the day of, so a cover doctor takes his place Lesbian Dinosaur? what do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A BABY OR PUPPY a liile boy walks in on his parents having sex. the little boy says what are use doing Dirty poem mary had a little twat, a teeny weeny hole, but johnny couldnt fit it in, his massive 2nothing A drunk man enters a shop and asks for 2nothing.The worker gets confused and goes to his Unibond a man walks up 2 a girl in a nytclub and says hi my names bond girl replies dont tell me GEOGRAPHY OF WOMAN GEOGRAPHY OF WOMAN Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa : Half Rich and Poor Man's Wedding Anniversary There were two people; a rich man and a poor man, and today was their wives' OOh Matron! She asked him for a double entendre. So, he gave her An older couple at an art exhibition An older couple at an art exhibition, were staring at a painting that had them completely Paddy dies whilst making love Paddy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and A spare $10 to spend on a hooker This guy has a spare $10 that he decides to spend on his first hooker ever. Two hookers standing on a street corner Two hookers were standing on a street corner ready for a night of business. Little guy sitting inside a bar There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink . He stays like Showing Off? Q: What’s the difference between love, true love, and showing off? A: Spitting, "What a coincidence" A chicken farmer went to a local bar...sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of Problem? A man goes to the Doctor’s and says, "Doc, you gotta help me!" The doctor says, Stammer A little old lady entered the sex shop and asked in a quivering voice, "Yy-young man, Good nutrition A lesbian goes to a nutritionist because she has indigestion. The nutritionist After sex.... A recent study asked a group of women if their cunts twitched after sex. 98% Blue willies Why do scotsmen have blue willies? Because they are tight fisted Revenge A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they’re sitting there LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH'S A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of